The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
