you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
