ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
