Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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