the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
