sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
