My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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