We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
