Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
