Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
