Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize