This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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