I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
