Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
