If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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