He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
