She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
