brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
