Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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