he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
