Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
