I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just gargled with NyQuil
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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