is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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