so that wasnt chicken after all
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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