I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Pants are for mortals
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
