Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
