It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i've created a new STD.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize