Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
