Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize