everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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