How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
