I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
