she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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