pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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