Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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