So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
