Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
