i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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