Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
