Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
3 2 1 whiskey
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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