How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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