they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
soo... how was my night?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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