If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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