On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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