We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
