tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize