North Korea, Best Korea!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
