weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
