Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize