your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
