ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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