The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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