Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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