I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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