So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize