4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
