hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
