so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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