im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
