You're my little dorito
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
