I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
