I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
