I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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