i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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