It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
