Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
