I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
