i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize