It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
