we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
if only i could text you this smell
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
