yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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