Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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