Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So squirting runs in the family.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
