I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
