Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize