He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
